Onion Takes Over Infowars

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Post on Nov 15, 2024

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Onion Takes Over Infowars, Alex Jones Dethroned by Satirical News Giant

Austin, Texas - In a move that has stunned the world of conspiracy theories and satire alike, The Onion, the beloved satirical news outlet, has officially taken over Infowars, the platform known for its wild, unfounded claims and inflammatory rhetoric.

The acquisition, announced in a press release issued via both a carrier pigeon and a coded message on a QAnon forum, sees the Onion gain control of all Infowars assets, including the website, radio show, and its vast collection of "evidence" for the existence of lizard people and the Illuminati.

Alex Jones, the controversial figure who built Infowars into a multi-million dollar enterprise, will be stepping down from his role as CEO and head conspiracy theorist. Sources close to Jones claim he is "delighted" to be relinquishing the reins, citing a desire to focus on his personal life and his new venture, "Alex Jones: Psychic Medium for Hire."

The Onion, renowned for its biting wit and absurdist humor, plans to maintain Infowars as a platform for satire and "alternative news," albeit with a distinctly more satirical bent. The Onion's editor-in-chief, Peter Gros, expressed excitement about the acquisition, stating, "We see a lot of potential in Infowars. It's a goldmine of hilarious, outlandish stories, ripe for the picking."

While some have welcomed the news, citing the potential for a more humorous and less harmful approach to misinformation, others remain skeptical.

"I'm not sure how much difference it will make," said Sarah Thompson, a longtime Infowars listener. "They might be funnier, but they'll still be peddling the same crazy ideas."

The future of Infowars under The Onion's control remains to be seen. However, one thing is certain: the news landscape, and the world of online conspiracy theories, has just gotten a lot more interesting.

Some of the anticipated changes under The Onion's leadership include:

• Infowars website redesign: Expect a new layout featuring more memes, animated gifs, and fake headlines like "Biden to Replace White House Lawn with Giant Rubber Chicken."
• New radio show segments: Expect segments like "Conspiracy Corner," where listeners can submit their wildest theories, and "The Onion's Guide to Surviving the Apocalypse," with practical advice like building a bunker out of tinfoil.
• New merchandise: Expect to see shirts proclaiming "I Survived the Pizzagate Hoax" and "My Brain Is Full of Chemicals, but They're Good Chemicals."

It remains to be seen if the Onion's satirical approach will be able to defuse the potential harm caused by Infowars' content, or if it will simply add another layer of absurdity to an already bizarre landscape.