The Onion's New Acquisition: Infowars

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Post on Nov 15, 2024

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The Onion Acquires Infowars in Shocking Move, Promises "Truthful" Coverage of Conspiracy Theories

NEW YORK, NY - In a move that has left both media observers and the public scratching their heads, The Onion has announced the acquisition of right-wing conspiracy website Infowars. The deal, reportedly finalized over a late-night game of poker involving a single can of expired Mountain Dew, is expected to shake up the world of online satire and misinformation.

"We at The Onion have always been committed to truth in satire," said Onion editor-in-chief, Chad N. Kroeger. "And what's truer than the fact that the earth is flat, the government is run by lizard people, and vaccines are a hoax?"

Kroeger went on to describe the acquisition as a "natural fit," citing the shared "commitment to outrageous and often unfounded claims" between the two outlets. He assured readers that Infowars will continue to publish its signature brand of "alternative news," albeit with a renewed focus on accuracy and fact-checking.

"Of course, we'll be adding our own unique satirical twist to the mix," Kroeger added, "but we'll be staying true to the core principles of Infowars, which are mostly, like, 'we're right and everyone else is wrong.'"

The news has been met with a mix of disbelief and amusement. Some observers have speculated that The Onion is using the acquisition as a way to further blur the lines between fact and fiction, while others believe the move is simply a publicity stunt.

"This is a bold and frankly, baffling move," said media analyst Michael S. Wilson. "The Onion has always been a master of satire, but their ability to pull this off remains to be seen. Will they actually try to make Infowars a legitimate source of news, or will they use it as a platform to highlight the absurdity of conspiracy theories?"

Only time will tell what the future holds for Infowars under The Onion's ownership. But one thing is certain: the world of online media just got a whole lot more bizarre.

In related news, Alex Jones, the controversial founder of Infowars, has been spotted wearing a shirt that reads "I Love The Onion" while riding a unicycle through Times Square.